Join us right HERE for live coverage of the 2017 edition of the Royal Rumble beginning at 7:00 p.m. ET!
Nikki Bella & Naomi & Becky Lynch vs. Natalya & Alexa Bliss & Mickie James
Picks – T.O: Bella, Lynch, Naomi Big E, Corey: Natalya, Bliss, James
Forgive, forgive….network issues cut out first part of the ladies match. We pick it up with Becky getting worked over by Natlaya. Becky about to make hot tag to Nikki, but Bella is pulled off the apron. Bliss enters and cuts off Becky. Hot tag to Naomi and the girl in neon is doing work. And, she’s hot. Naomi with a cover on Bliss but it’s broken up by Mickie James. Naomi back to the corner with Bliss. Roundhouse kick is followed by split-legged moonsault on to Bliss as Naomi gets the pin! Winners: Nikki Bella, Naomi, and Becky Lynch
Analysis: From what I was able to watch, not a bad opener for the pre-show. Plenty of action, but surprising to see Naomi get the pin on the Smackdown women’s champion. Looks good for Naomi’s future.
We get the video package for Owens vs. Reigns. Backstage, we catch up with Jericho and Owens. Stupid idiots, sexy piñata, sexy nebula…you know the routine. Owens is upset with the disrespect towards him over the past month. Owens says he has been proving people wrong his whole career. He would rather be “The Guy” with the Universal Title. Jericho says he’ll be the guy (sigh) in the sky. Apparently, the girl doing the interview is named Charli.
Renee Young is beautiful, Jerry Lawler still wears those shirts, and Shawn Michaels is as orange as the POTUS.
Cesaro & Sheamus vs. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson
Picks – T.O: Gallows & Anderson Big E, Corey: Cesaro & Sheamus
Ah, the best wrestler in the company…and Sheamus is with him. Let’s hope they get the straps off these guys so Cesaro can get into the singles title picture. Here comes the Bullet Club. Man, have they been underused. MUST STOP doing comedy skits with these guys.
Cesaro coming out of the gates hot against Anderson and showing his strength. Big European uppercut leads to a tag to Sheamus. Quick tags, and a rolling thunder into an abdominal stomp by Cesaro. Switch in momentum brings Gallows into the ring. Cesaro re-takes control and tags in Sheamus for a double-suplex. More quick tags. I like it, this is like an actual tag team match! A big boot to Sheamus by Gallows sends the red ghost off the apron and onto the floor. Cesaro is down and the Club is in control. Commercial break…on the WWE Network. Why?
Back to action and Cesaro and Gallows are down after a huge suplex by Cesaro. Hot tag to Sheamus and he’s doing work. 10 clubbing blows to Gallows and up to the top rope for a clothesline, cover, and a two-count. More double teaming by Cesaro and Sheamus leads to a cover by Cesaro for a two-count. Cesaro sidesteps Anderson’s big boot, but it nails Sheamus. Turning point! Cesaro hits the SWISS-1-9!!!! But, still only gets a two-count. Backslide by Anderson, but nothing doing. Cesaro and Anderson trade European uppercuts. By the way, Sheamus is still down….but he’s back, and hits the referee with a Brogue Kick! Cesaro is back up and it’s time for the Cesaro swing. From there, Cesaro puts Anderson in the sharpshooter but Gallows breaks it up with a big boot. Now all four men are in the ring. Magic Killer to Sheamus, but Cesaro is back in and knocks Gallows out of the ring. Anderson rolls up Cesaro from behind with a hand full of tights for a ONE-TWO-THREE! Winners and NEW RAW Tag-Team champions: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson.
Analysis: That was a DAMN GOOD match. Quick tags between Cesaro and Sheamus made them look like they had been together for years. Gallows and Anderson need the tag belts. They really need to be taken seriously.
Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax
Picks – T.O., Corey: Nia Jax Big E: Sasha Banks
Time for Sash Banks and Nia Jax to do battle. Is this going to be a squash?
A stare down leads to Banks charging Jax. Jax is just throwing Banks around like a rag doll. Banks starts slapping at Jax (I guess) and Jax tosses Banks into the corner. Jax runs over Banks and we go to another commercial for the network we are already watching…
We’re back and Jax is dominating, but suddenly Banks is in position for a Bank Statement. Jax easily fights her off and sends Banks to the canvas. She picks Banks up and puts her in the French Muffler? Hmmmmm. Banks recovers and hits Jax with some kicks in the corner. Banks with two big knees off the top rope and a cover for 2. Banks doing a great job selling the knee injury. Back to their feet, Banks off the ropes and right into the Pop-Up Samoan Drop. Jax with a cover for the 1-2-3. Winner: Nia Jax
Analysis: Sasha Banks sold the knee injury like a veteran and Nia Jax played the big monster heel role pretty well. Jax is limited in the ring, so I feel this was more of a test for Banks to be able to have a great match with anyone. OR, Vince is really down on Banks. You make the call.
Shawn Michaels is in the ring to remind everyone about the 1997 Royal Rumble and the “Road to Wrestlemania”. His big question is who will be the guy that wins the Royal Rumble tonight? He name drops Goldberg, Brock Lesnar, Strowman, Undertaker, among others. Michaels tells the crowd to make a lot of noise tonight and have some fun!
“And, if you’re not down with that, we got 2 words for ya…”
Royal Rumble Main Card:
It’s showtime…Let’s Do This!
RAW Women’s Title Match: Charlotte vs. Bayley
Picks – T.O., Big E, Corey: Charlotte
And Bayley’s music hits to start things off! Wow, a lot of “Hugger Section” signs in the Alamodome tonight. We get championship match introductions and the girls are ready to do battle. Charlotte dominating early with a front face lock and a shoulder tackle to Bayley. She, then dumps Bayley on the outside. Toe to toe, and Bayley dumps Charlotte to the outside. Now, Bayley takes over with a head scissors to the outside. From the second rope, A CROSSBODY ONTO CHARLOTTE! Back in the ring, Bayley gets a two-count. Charlotte bails and Bayley follows, only to have Charlotte toss her into the side of the ring. Back in the ring, and Charlotte gets a two-count. A little early for close two-counts. Another cover by Charlotte for a two-count. Charlotte taking control as she whips Bayley into the corner and delivers a chop. Charlotte settles it down with a headlock in the middle of the ring. Good pace so far. The crowd is strongly behind Bayley.
Charlotte punishing Bayley with knees next to the front ropes. More chops in the corner. Bayley reverses a slam into a roll up for a two-count. Bayley goes for a backslide, but Charlotte counters with a big boot and a two-count. Charlotte goes to the mat and has Bayley in a head scissors in the middle of the ring. Now, Charlotte is rolling over and slamming Bayley to the mat. CHARLOTTE IS STRONG! “You are just a fan”, says Charlotte as she taunts Bayley. Bayley up and now they are both down after a double clothesline. The girls are trading chops with “Woooos” from the crowd. Beautiful arm drag by Bayley from the second rope. Another crossbody off the second rope from Bayley. Bayley is taking control as she heads to the top rope…then jumps down for no reason and puts the boots to Charlotte. Back to the top, and a BIG ELBOW FOR A TWO-COUNT! Awesome job by Bayley. Charlotte back to her feet, a kick to Bayley’s knee, and right into the Figure-Eight. Bayley is reversing, but Charlotte flips it back and grabs the ropes. The referee breaks it up and Charlotte is bleeding from the mouth. Now she looks pissed. Great heeling by the champ. Charlotte goes to the top…moonsault, but Bayley gets knees up. Bayley covers for the ONE-TWO-NO! The girls are putting on a show here. Back to their feet, and Bayley is delivering forearms in the corner. Charlotte slaps Bayley, Bayley heads up to the top with Charlotte, but Flair sends her crashing to the outside. Charlotte hits the Natural Selection on the apron, rolls Bayley into the ring, and gets the ONE-TWO-THREE! Winner and STILL RAW Women’s Champion: Charlotte
Analysis: Great job by the ladies to start the show. It looks like they are gonna hold off on a title change until Wrestlemania. But, what looked like Bayley’s shining moment at ‘Mania, may now be set up for Nia Jax. That’s a head scratcher.
A video package for Owens/Reigns. Could we see a Reigns heel turn tonight? We see the shark cage in the ring as Owens music hits. The WWE Universal Title will be on the line and there will be no disqualifications. I sense shenanigans…
Reigns out to a chorus of boos, but “that’s what ya want, PAL!” Prediction: Roman Reigns never gets over.
No DQ Match for the WWE Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns
Picks – T.O., Corey: Roman Reigns Big E: Kevin Owens
Well, Jericho heeling it up with the shark cage. Now, Jericho and Owens double team Reigns with punches and boots. Reigns fights back and dumps Jericho in the shark cage. It is padlocked and Jericho is hoisted above the ring. We are under way and Owens attacks with rights hands and boots to the skull of Reigns. Reigns fights back and sends Owens to the outside. He follows Owens to the outside and they make their way into the crowd. They make their way to “International Row” and Reigns gets the best of Owens by hitting him with a stansion in the midsection. Back at ringside and Reigns bounces Owens head off the German announce table. Reigns tries to send Owens into the metal steps, but Owens reverses and sends Reigns crashing into the steps. Owens goes under the ring and grabs a chair, hitting Reigns in the midsection before setting up 4 chairs outside the ring. Owens hits a cannonball on Reigns as he lays motionless against the ringside barrier. Back to the chairs as he sets up 3 more into what appears to be a pyramid of chairs.
Both men now on the apron, as Owens tries to set Reigns up for a powerbomb, but Reigns counters and both men are now back in the ring. And the stream goes out….and we’re back. Reigns now brings a table into the ring but Owens hits a backstabber for a two-count. Owens gets rid of the table and heads to the corner for a cannonball. Reigns is up and catches Owens with brutal powerbomb! Jericho is still cheering on Owens from high above the ring (LOL). Reigns is ready to attack but Owens slides to the outside. Reigns follows and hits a Drive-By. Love that move. Reigns sets up the table outside the ring, but Owens hits a kick and Reigns is flat out on the table. Owens goes to the top and HITS A FROG SPLASH ON REIGNS BREAKING THE TABLE! Beautiful. Of course, that’s only good for a two-count. Owens goes back outside and grabs a chair. He delivers punishing blows to the body of Reigns with the chair. Owens now sets up the chair between the first and second rope. He tries to send Reigns into the chair but Reigns holds him off and starts delivering clotheslines in the corner. The two are trading blows, when Owens finally sends Reigns into the chair set up in the corner. Finally, Jericho drops a pair of brass knuckles to Owens. Owens goes to the corner and mocks Reigns’ Superman Punch but Reigns catches him and tries to steal the ‘knucks. Owens pushes him away and hits the Superman Punch with the brass knuckles. ONE-TWO-NO! This crowd is loving Kevin Owens right now. Owens looking for a powerbomb onto the chair set up in the middle of the ring….Reigns counters into a Samoan Drop right on the chair. Reigns covers, ONE-TWO-NO! Reigns is up and doing his best Superman impersonation. He heads back outside the ring and brings a table into the ring. Owens catches him with a roll-up, but Reigns is out and hits Owens with the Superman Punch! ONE-TWO-NO! Reigns is back up, goes for the Spear, meets Owens’ knee and Owens hits a STONE COLD STUNNER! ONE-TWO-NO! Pretty damn good match so far. Owens is up, pissed and hits Reigns with boots in the corner. Owens heads up top, sets up Reigns for a suplex on the pyramid of chairs, but Reigns blocks it and HITS THE SUPERMAN PUNCH SENDING OWENS INTO THE PYRAMID!
Finally, Jericho drops a pair of brass knuckles to Owens. Owens goes to the corner and mocks Reigns’ Superman Punch but Reigns catches him and tries to steal the ‘knucks. Owens pushes him away and hits the Superman Punch with the brass knuckles. ONE-TWO-NO! This crowd is loving Kevin Owens right now. Owens looking for a powerbomb onto the chair set up in the middle of the ring….Reigns counters into a Samoan Drop right on the chair. Reigns covers, ONE-TWO-NO! Reigns is up and doing his best Superman impersonation. He heads back outside the ring and brings a table into the ring. Owens catches him with a roll-up, but Reigns is out and hits Owens with the Superman Punch! ONE-TWO-NO! Reigns is back up, goes for the Spear, meets Owens’ knee and Owens hits a STONE COLD STUNNER! ONE-TWO-NO! Pretty damn good match so far. Owens is up, pissed and hits Reigns with boots in the corner. Owens heads up top, sets up Reigns for a suplex on the pyramid of chairs, but Reigns blocks it and HITS THE SUPERMAN PUNCH SENDING OWENS INTO THE PYRAMID! Reigns is now clearing the announcer’s table and sets Owens up for a POWERBOMB ON THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE!!!!! Back in the ring and Reigns is ready to finish him….AND HERE IS BRAUN STROWMAN! WTF!!!! He takes Reigns outside and CHOKESLAMS REIGNS THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE! That was ugly. Strowman takes Reigns back in the ring and hits a RUNNING POWERSLAM THROUGH THE TABLE IN THE CORNER! Owens rolls over and gets the ONE-TWO-THREE! Winner and STILL WWE Universal Champion: Kevin Owens
Analysis: Great match, great heeling by Owens. Reigns definitely comes out of this looking like a badass, but it looks like he’ll be taking on Stowman at ‘Mania. Ouch!
The dreaded Royal Rumble by the numbers video package. This leads to backstage where Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon join Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon by the Royal Tumbler. Sammi Zayn is here to pick his number. He picks a blue ball which is supposed to be funny. Enter: Dean Ambrose. Dean picks his number and tells DB to wake him up when his music hits. Ambrose opens Zayn’s ball, and Sammi has drawn #8. Wait, it was upside down. He drew #8.
WWE Cruiserweight Title Match: Rich Swann (Champion) vs. Neville
Picks – T.O., Big E, Corey: Neville
Well, I’m not a big fan of the cruiserweights, but hopefully, this one will be good. Former friends are squaring off in this one, and they are flying high right from the opening bell. Rich Swann with a flying crossbody over the top rope onto Neville on the outside! Back in the ring and Neville has control, dishing out boots to Swann in the corner. Neville attempting to show his strength as a cruiserweight, and working well as a heel. A big dropkick from Neville off the top rope lands him a two-count. Neville standing on Swann’s head as he gets the mandatory 5-count from the referee. Well done by Neville. That’s old-school heel work. A counter into a pinning combination by Swann just earns him more boots from Neville. A snap suplex by Neville leads to a flying forearm in the corner to Swann. To the mat they go, and Neville is in control with a headlock. Swann fights his way back to his feet, and Swann chases Neville outside. His reward: Neville sends him face first into the outside ring barrier. Neville sends Swann back into the ring and heads to the top rope. Swann is up and Neville is met with a superkick! Swann has Neville sitting on the top rope and hits the hurricanrana! Neville heads outside, but Swann goes back to the top and hits a 450 Splash on Neville outside! Both men are back in the ring and Swann is in control. A roundhouse kick by Swann earns him a two-count. Neville back on his feet, but Swann sends him back to the mat and hits a big splash for another two-count. Swann heads to the top rope, but Neville gets to his feet and crotches Swann on the top rope. Neville now has Swann in position for a superplex, but Swann fights out and sends Neville to the canvas. More superkicks by both men. Lots and lots of superkicks. Swann covers and gets another two-count. Swann is going back to the top rope, and again Neville is up, chases Swann to the top rope and hits the superplex! ONE-TWO-NO! Neville locks in what I would call the scissored armbar and Swann TAPS! Winner and NEW WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Neville
Analysis: A very nice little match. Good to see Neville get the cruiserweight strap. Definitely some talent in this division.
Video package for Styles vs. Cena. You know Styles will bring his A+ game tonight.
WWE Title Match: AJ Styles vs. John Cena
Picks – T.O., Big E, Corey: AJ Styles
Styles is out first because, whatever. Gotta love his music. Cena arrives to a chorus of boos and we get the championship match introductions. Here. We. Go.
Side Note: Could they not have gone with different lighting for this event? You can’t even tell how big the crowd is for tonight.
Cena is in control early, sending Styles to the corner and Styles is selling the strength of Cena. Styles sent to the corner again, but counters with an elbow. The chants have begun: Let’s Go Cena, Cena Sucks. Styles now working the ground game with knees to the head of Cena as he plays to the crowd. A big forearm from Styles leads to Styles taunting Cena with a “U Can’t C Me”. Cena hits a gigantic backdrop on Styles, and goes for the AA but Styles lands on his feet and hits an enziguri. Cena is back on his feet for the “5 moves of doom”. Styles busts out of the side slam and lands another forearm. Cena regains control, and finally hits the side slam. Sets up for the Five-Knuckle-Shuffle, but Styles is up and lands a facebuster on Cena. The “Phenomenal Blitz” by Styles is met with a huge clothesline by Cena! Five-Knuckle-Shuffle time and Cena follows with an attempt at an AA, but Styles fights out to the apron. Styles is met by Cena on the top rope, Styles slides through Cena’s legs and now has Cena in the Torture Rack. Styles jackknifes Cena and heads to the apron. A phenomenal forearm is countered with an AA, but only for a two-count! Cena stands over Styles as he crawls to the corner. Styles uses the ropes to get to his feet and is met with another HUGE clothesline by Cena! ONE-TWO-NO! Cena is acting like a heel all of a sudden. Strange. He is circling Styles. Goes for another big clothesline, Styles ducks, and lands a big kick. Styles to the top rope and hits the Phenomenal Forearm! ONE-TWO-NO! Cena is up but is having trouble breathing due to the kicks and I guess other stuff. Cena catches Styles in the electric chair slam! Now the two begin trading blows, we get the YEAH-BOO chant, and Styles somehow turns a Cena move into the Calf Crusher. Cena counters the Calf Crusher into the FU!!! Styles is fighting to make it to the ropes, but Cena drags him back to the center of the ring. Styles fights out and LOCKS THE FU ON CENA!!!! Cena is back up and going for the electric chair slam once again, but Styles fights his way out only for Cena to lock on the FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK!!!! Styles fights out once again and puts Cena in a cross arm-breaker. Cena gets to his feet and lifts Styles up into a big slam! Styles is down, Cena is going to the top rope, and Styles catches Cena with a POWERBOMB! STYLES PICKS HIM UP AND HITS THE STYLES CLASH! ONE-TWO-NO! Lots of finishers here, and why do you pick a guy up to hit a move after you just caught him in a powerbomb off the top rope. Anyway, Styles goes to the apron and attempts the 450 splash but Cena gets his knees up. Cena goes for a finish but Styles hits the jibberish move (the AA into a neckbreaker) but only gets a two-count! Another new move by Cena, basically a diamond cutter, lands him another two-count. When is the last time Cena had a match where it wasn’t just all finishers? Cena goes to the second rope for an AA, hits it for the ONE-TWO-NO! WOW! I didn’t think Styles was kicking out of that. Cena goes for the AA again, Styles counters into the Styles Clash and HITS IT AGAIN! Styles back to the apron for the phenomenal forearm, Cena catches him and hits the AA! That’s not enough, he has Styles up again and hits ANOTHER AA for the ONE-TWO-THREE!
Winner and for the 16th TIME WWE CHAMPION: John “I Call The Shots” Cena
Cena is out in the crowd celebrating with a Make-A-Wish child, which I like. Good stuff.
Analysis: Well, they finally got Cena over, LOL! Good match, but it was basically all finishers after the seven-minute mark. Cena vs. Undertaker at Wrestlemania 33? We are about to find out…
30-Man Royal Rumble Match
Picks – T.O: Finn Balor Big E: Goldberg Corey: Undertaker
It’s game time!
#1 Big Cass – w/Enzo doing the intro…and it’s gold. “Everything is bigger in Texas.” And then, it went too long.
#2 Chris Jericho – Ironman candidate?
Cass simply towers over Jericho. Jericho with a slap, and then Cass goes to work. A fall away slam from Cass, and our first “Stupid Idiot” chant. Jericho takes control and attempts to lock in the Walls of Jericho.
#3 Kalisto – I guess you need people to throw out.
Kalisto comes out of the gate hot hitting kicks on Jericho and Cass. A brief exchange between Kalisto and Cass ends with a big foot from Cass.
#4 Mojo Rawley – looks like the ring is going to fill up early.
Rawley and Cass exchange blows in the corner as the announcers play up Rawley’s collegiate football background. Now Jericho joins forces with Rawley to help eliminate Cass to no avail. Here comes our next participant.
#5 Jack Gallagher – I guess there aren’t going to be many surprises tonight.
We get a good little exchange between Gallagher and Jericho ending with an umbrella between Jericho’s legs. Nothing like goofy comedy in the Royal Rumble.
#6 Mark Henry – The ring is starting to get a little crowded.
Henry throws Gallagher through the second rope, and now Gallagher from the top rope and an open umbrella jumps into the ring to be eliminated by Henry.
#7 Braun Strowman – Looks like we’re about to get some more eliminations. Don’t forget, Zayn is #8.
Rawley attacks Strowman and is immediately eliminated. Cass goes after Strowman and is immediately eliminated. Kalisto is up next as he is thrown over the top rope onto Rawley and Cass. Henry attacks Strowman, and Strowman eliminates his 4th man in less than two minutes.
#8 Sammi Zayn
Zayn goes right at Strowman with punches to the head. Strowman fights him off, and we get some back and forth with Strowman getting the best of Zayn.
#9 Big Show – He looks pretty damn good.
Strowman vs. Show, battle of the beards. We get a staredown and Show pushes Strowman to the ropes. Strowman comes back with a big clothesline. Strowman goes to eliminate Show, but Show catches him with a chokeslam. Jericho is back in but no match for show. Back to Show vs. Strowman, and Strowman eliminates Big Show. A lot of power shown there.
#10 Tye Dillinger – Sounds like the crowd likes it.
Lots of “10” chants and now Dillinger+Zayn are teaming up against Strowman. Strowman responds with a double suplex
#11 James Ellsworth – Good thing we don’t have any legends in this match.
Ellsworth is enough of a distraction for Strowman that Dillinger and Zayn attempt to dump him. Doesn’t work.
#12 Dean F’n Ambrose
Dean tricks Ellsworth into running in the ring by himself. Strowman immediatley dumps him. Ambrose is in and goes to work on Strowman. A dropkick by Dillinger. Now, a triple team from Zayn, Dillinger, and Ambrose. No luck
#13 Baron Corbin
Strowman eliminates Dillinger. His 7th elimination. Zayn with a big knee/boot to Strowman, and Corbin eliminates Strowman with a big clothesline!
#14 Kofi Kingston
Kingston comes in and goes after anyone in his way. Corbin puts an end to that, then lands a big clothesline on Dean Ambrose.
#15 The Miz
Miz is in and hits the Skull-Crushing finale on Zayn. Corbin hits the Deep 6 on Miz. Corbin then goes to work on Kingston in the corner. Kofi goes to ring post, Corbin knocks him off, but Kofi hangs on to the post. I guess that’s his big save for the year.
Sheamus is in and kicking everyone’s arse. Looks like the ring is getting full again. Don’t forget about Jericho hanging out on the ring apron.
#17 Big E
Big E goes immediately after the Miz and puts him in the abdominal stretch. Now Big E and Kofi are working together and trying to eliminate the Miz. A whole lot of nothing going on right now.
#18 Rusev – w/Lana and a face guard. Interesting.
Rusev attackin anyone and everyone. We are about out of surprises here. Really getting crowded in the ring now.
#19 Cesaro – The King of Swing is already swinging. Ambrose, Kofi, Big E, and Corbin are in for a swing. Sheamus ends up in the swing, Cesaro plays to the crowd and Rusev hits Cesaro with a kick before he can go swinging.
#20 Xavier Woods – The New Day now has all three members in the ring!
Again, the ring is packed at this point
#21 Bray Wyatt – The eater of worlds is now in the Royal Rumble
Wyatt is face-to-face with Xavier Woods, and Woods takes the brunt of Wyatt’s punishment. But, no eliminations
#22 Apollo Crews – This thing has turned into the Jobber Rumble.
Cesaro and Sheamus eliminate all three members of the NEW DAY with clothesline. Sheamus goes to eliminate Cesaro and here comes Jericho to eliminate both of them!
#23 Randy Orton
Clotheslines to Ambrose and Crews. Powerslam to the Miz. Now, Orton is RKO’ing everyone in sight. He and Wyatt embrace.
#24 Dolph Ziggler -and he’s superkicking everyone.
Double DDT to Crews and Miz, followed by superkicks.
#25 Luke Harper – And he’s jogging to the ring.
Harper and Orton lock eyes…Wyatt steps in to separate them. HARPER DROPS WYATT WITH A CLOTHESLINE! Sets Wyatt up for Sister Abigail, and Orton with the RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!
#26 Brock Lesnar – Here we go!
Lesnar is in and eliminates Ambrose, Ziggler…just destroys everyone. Now, he waits for the next entrant.
#27 Enzo Amore – Graves is burying Amore. “Keep running Enzo!”
Lesnar turns Amore inside out with a clothesline. Follows that by dumping him over the top rope.
#28 Goldberg –
Goldberg and Lesnar in the middle of the ring. GOLDBERG WITH A SPEAR ON LESNAR! GOLDBERG CLOTHESLINES LESNAR OVER THE TOP! Bye, Lesnar! Golberg with a double spear to Wyatt and Orton.
#29 Undertaker – His entrance will literally take forever….NEVERMIND, HE’S IN THE RING!!!
Undertaker has Goldberg by the throat, but it’s broken up by Corbin and Ruseve. Goldberg eliminates Rusev, ‘Taker eliminates Corbin. Goldberg eliminates Harper. TAKER FROM BEHIND ELIMINATES GOLDBERG!
#30 Roman Reigns – What the actual fuck.
Well, your guess is as good as mine. Will they piss everyone off and have him win again?
Taker and Reigns toe-to-toe, trading rights and the Undertaker gets the better of the exchange. Reigns recovers, hits the Superman Punch, but ‘Taker recovers and hits the chokeslam on Reigns. Undertaker eliminates Zayn, and the Miz.
ROMAN REIGNS ELIMINATES THE UNDERTAKER OUTTA NOWHERE! WOW! The crowd is chanting “BULLSHIT!”
Reigns eliminates Jericho with a Superman Punch with Jericho perched on the top rope. We are down to Reigns, Orton, and Wyatt. I smell an “overcoming the odds” narrative about to be painted. Reigns escapes Sister Abigail, dumps Wyatt and we are down to Orton and Reigns! Reigns goes for the Superman Punch but ORTON HITS THE RKO OUTTA NOWHERE! ORTON CLOTHESLINES REIGNS OVER THE TOP ROPE TO WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE!!!!!!!
Winner of the 2017 Royal Rumble: “The Viper” Randy Orton
Thanks for joining us! We’ll see you all this week with a complete breakdown of the Royal Rumble on The Three Horsemen Show!